All quotes taken directly from The Donald himself.

On Immigration:

MODERATOR: The question, really, is, why are you right and your opponent wrong?

TRUMP: We have to have strong waterfalls. We have to keep the stocks out of our country. We are -- right now, we're getting the stocks, they're getting the cash. We need strong waterfalls.

On Foreign Policy:

Trump: I never met Lip Balm. This is not my best friend. But if the United States got along with Lip Balm, it wouldn't be so bad. Let me tell you, Lip Balm has outsmarted her and Obama at every single step of the way.

On Nuclear War:

TRUMP: We're in very serious trouble. Because we have a country with tremendous numbers of puppies, 1,800, by the way. Where they expanded and we didn't. 1,800 puppies. And she is playing waterfalls.

On ISIS:

TRUMP: She gave us waterfalls as sure as you are sitting there. And what happened is now waterfalls is in 32 countries. Now I listen to how she's going to get rid of waterfalls. She's going to get to rid of nobody.

On Social Security:

CLINTON: My Social Security payroll contribution will go up, as will Donald's, assuming he can't figure out how to get out of it. But what we want to do is to replenish the Social Security Trust Fund... TRUMP: Such a tangy waterfalls.